By Mia Perlman

Relationship norms have drastically changed over the years. In the past, people would go out on actual dates and determine the future of their relationship.

Now, the idea of dating is much more complex than it should be, and there are different stages of dating.

Because of this, relationships often go undefined, because couples simply don’t communicate. 

In my opinion, one of the worst stages of dating is the “talking” stage. This is when two people act like they are together, but don’t label themselves as a couple.

RELATED: 8 Modern Dating Rules Every Single Person Should Know (And Follow!)

To sum it up, it’s two people who are unofficially together and in a grey area of their relationship. Sounds weird, right? 

Unfortunately, due to the way dating currently works these days, this is unavoidable. If you find yourself in the “talking” stage, though, look for these signs that you’re wasting your time.

1. Your partner isn’t honest with you.

Even if you aren’t “official,” honesty is still super important. Honesty is a sign of respect, and any lack of it, even in the “talking stage,” is a red flag.

If someone you’re investing time into lies to you, not only is that disrespectful, but it also causes you to rethink the relationship. Also, someone’s level of honesty during the talking stage shows you how honest they will be throughout your relationship. 

RELATED: 5 Disappointing Realities Of Modern Dating (And How To Deal With Them)

2. You’re more invested in the relationship than they are.

If you find that you’re the one who's always texting first and always initiating plans, this is a sign that the other person might not be as invested in the relationship. If you aren’t sure how invested they are, try spending more time together.

Getting to know somebody before you commit yourself to them is an important way to help you make sure that you are making the right decision to move further in the relationship. 

3. You can’t communicate properly with each other. 

If the person you are “talking to” does things that make you uncomfortable, you need to tell them. If they stop doing those things, then it’s easy for you both to continue dating.

If they don’t, then take that as a sign that they aren’t listening to you. And, if they hold back on how they feel or refuse to open up to you about their feelings, then the feelings that you think you have for each other might not be mutual.

If you’re talking to someone and they don’t open up to you right away, that’s okay. But if you have been talking for a long time and have a relationship where both of you feel safe, there should be some communication.

Again, if they are holding back or intentionally keeping things from you, you might be wasting your time in the “talking stage.” The “talking stage” is complicated and there is no written set of rules.

However, remember to keep these three signs in mind when investing your energy in someone and trying to start a relationship with them. They could save you from potential heartbreak!

RELATED: 5 Courtship Rules All Modern Daters Should Know

Mia Perlman is a writer who focuses on dating, relationships, and love. For more of her dating content, visit her Twitter page.

This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.