Dreams really do come true, and a whole lot of men are about to get very happy. Apparently, drinking beer makes you better in bed, at least according to an article. Did I just hear someone cracking open another cold one and smiling?

Instead of affecting a guy's sex life in a negative way, the news that beer can be a positive for a guy's sexual performance is a game changer.

The timing couldn't be better, since not only are we in pre-football season, but it's also the time where consuming massive amounts of beer isn't just tolerated — it's encouraged! And while you may not be aware of the health benefits of beer, rest assured there are plenty.

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So, dudes, it's kind of your moral obligation to drink like you're in high school behind the bleachers, or you're in college. Let the bros, jocks, surfer dudes, and frat guys celebrate what they hoped was true all along: that beer makes you better in bed and is healthy and magical, or magically healthy.

Life makes a little more sense now. Here's how beer can make you better in bed.

1. It makes you last longer.

Premature ejaculation is often caused by anxiety and stress. Having a beer or two will help you relax and lessen some of your tension. Also, phytoestrogens in beer can be helpful in delaying ejaculation.

2. Dark beer gets you in the mood.

Dark beer actually has more iron than light beer, and iron increases red blood cells and circulation, allowing for easier arousal and more frequent erections. 

3. It's heart-healthy and improves endurance.

Studies show drinking a pint of beer a day decreases the chances of having a heart attack, stroke, or heart disease. If you combine beer drinking with exercise, you not only make your heart healthier, you build up your cardio endurance, helping you to go the distance in the bedroom.

4. Guinness, specifically, has antioxidants.

Antioxidants clean up the circulation system. By keeping your plumbing clean, it allows for the healthy functioning of the vital blood vessels and capillaries necessary for healthy sex functioning in the penis. Which is good, because Guinness is delicious.

5. It boosts your sex drive.

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Fifty Shades of Green, obviously inspired by the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomena, is loaded with 50 different hop varieties, ginseng, ginkgo biloba, and damiana (nerve stimulator) to enhance performance.

Go ahead and crack open another brewskie. It's good for you and will make your partner happier, too.

RELATED: 5 (Healthy!!) Reasons You Should Definitely Drink More Beer

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Christine Schoenwald is a writer, performer, and astrology lover. She has written over 500 articles on the zodiac signs and how the stars influence us. She's had articles in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, Woman's Day, and is a contributing writer to Ravishly, I AM & CO, and YourTango. Check out her website or and her Instagram.