If you have ever watched a single episode of reality TV then you know that the hot tub is very often the scene of many erotic encounters.

There's something about those bubbles, those jets hitting all the right (and so wrong) places, seeing your honey in a swimsuit, and feeling all that tension melt away thanks to the heat of the water.

I basically got horny just writing about it, I'll be honest.

But having sex in a hot tub is actually one of the worst things you can do to your vagina. The second worst thing you can do to your vagina is go on reality TV to begin with, but I digress. 

I'm so totally the opposite of a prude. If there is something fun and weird and cool to try with sex I will be there, front row, hand up in the air, ready to go. 

Unless it's having sex in a hot tube.

What about having sex in a hot tub has me all hot and bothered? 

I'm so glad you asked....

1. You can get PREGNANT having sex in a hot tub. 

I have it on good authority that my best friend was conceived in a hot tub, and by "good authority" I mean her mom told me after tippling one too many margaritas.

I also happen to know that my roommate (the one conceived in the hot tub) was not a planned pregnancy (thanks again, margaritas). 

This is way more common than you might think for a reason that's as galling as it well, obvious once you hear it. 

Some people actually believe that the heat of the water kills sperm making it unable to get you pregnant.

This is just straight-up not the case. While prolonged direct exposure to extreme heat or extreme cold can damage a man's sperm, we're talking exploring the arctic for 20 years and/or boiling in a pot of water for eight hours a day. 

Condoms are basically little balloons, right? You know what doesn't help them adhere to penis creating a safe barrier between your eggs and his sperm? Water. It likes to get condoms right off of where they belong.

Also there is chlorine in a hot tub (god willing) and chlorine can make latex LESS EFFECTIVE. 

That's right, if you're having sex in a hot tub (and not using birth control), you are just 34 years and five margaritas away from telling your life story to a sex writer who will probably share it as a cautionary tale on the internet. 

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2. Sex in the hot tub can hurt. 

In theory, having sex should be nothing but slick, uber wet fun, right? 

Wrong.

While water gives the impression of lubrication, the water in a hot tub (and all water for that matter) can rinse away your vagina's natural lubrication.

This can lead to painful sex, and not like fun, kinky painful sex, like, microtears that send you to your gyno with an embarrassing hot-tub-sex based infection painful sex.

Don't do it, man. 

3. Hot tub sex can cause a rash. 

Frankly, the fact that you are still reading worries me.

I have already told you that having sex in a jacuzzi could lead to your getting pregnant and/or tearing your vagina but here you are, daring me to give you more reasons why hot sex is a terrible idea. 

I can play this game.

Hot tub rash, have you ever heard of it? 

Otherwise known as pseudomonas folliculitis this icky rash is the result of bacteria in the water infecting your skin. 

So if you want to spend a few days convinced you've got the clap when really your just a nastiness rash from being nasty, that's on you, boo. 

4. You can get a UTI from having sex in the water.

And not just a urinary tract, but a yeast infection, too! MAYBE EVEN BOTH.

Basically at this point we have established that sex in a hot tub is basically a horror show, vaginally speaking.

And the hits keep coming. 

The chlorine in the water can mess up the beautiful nature pH of your vagina making it more susceptible to bacteria, which could least to your ladyparts being overrun with itchy, sticky yeast.

DO. NOT. WANT. 

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5. Hot tub sex can lead to an STD.

Sure, chlorine is great at killing stuff off, but you know what it can't slay?

STDS.

It's highly unlikely (but not impossible) you'll become riddled with herpes just by having a soak in a hot tub, but having sex with a person who has an STD in a jacuzzi is not going to lower your chance at getting an infection. No amount of hot water can kill those.

Wrap it up, get out the water, and if you must hot tub, do it as a post-coital after-glowy kind of thing ... after you shower, obviously. 

Rebecca Jane Stokes is a sex, humor and lifestyle writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. She hosts the sex, love, and dating advice show Becca After Dark on YourTango's Facebook Page every Tuesday and Thursday. For more of her work, click here.