6 Rules Of Blowjob Etiquette That EVERY Man Needs To Know
Mia Horton A blowjob is a gift.
Most men are aware of this. While receiving a blowjob, it’s not uncommon for a man to be thinking something along the lines of “Oh man, oh man, I am the luckiest guy in the world!” Because, yeah, they can be THAT good.
However, just like when you receive a present during the holidays, there’s an etiquette to sexual gift-giving that you have to respect, even if the other person is giving you the gift with their mouth.
Because, ideally, oral sex should be all about cooperation and gratitude. The person performing the blowjob is going to extraordinary lengths to bring their partner to orgasm, so the least that the man receiving the BJ can do is to be respectful as hell during the act itself.
If the couple has set different boundaries before the act starts and they prefer things a little rougher and dirtier, more power to them. But that’s not the case for most blowjobs.
There are certain universal rules that men should abide by when someone is performing oral sex on them. It doesn’t matter if the performer is a woman or a man, these rules are just a given for any man who wants to show the proper deference in the face of one of the world’s greatest sex acts.
If you want to make sure that you’re on your best behavior during a blowjob — or if you want to know how your man SHOULD be acting — here are six essential rules of etiquette that should be followed during any blowjob.
1. Hands on the head is a no-no.
When someone is performing a blowjob, they get to set the pace. As the receiver, you can ask them to change the tempo. You can request, beg, plead, whatever, but you do NOT get to grab the other person by the head and set your own rhythm. (Their ears are not handlebars.)
If you talk about it beforehand and your partner is cool with you moving their head back and forth, that’s fine. But, too often, when men get lost in the pursuit of their orgasm, they forget that another living breathing human being is doing them a profound favor at the moment, and they start treating the person’s head like a sex toy. That’s just rude and it’s a good way to make sure that this BJ is your last.
2. Always let the other person know when you’re about to finish.
This is just good manners. Before any blowjob begins with a new partner, even if it kills the mood a bit, you have to be very clear about where their boundaries are when it comes to dealing with your ejaculate. Are they going to spit or swallow? You need to know before it actually happens.
But, regardless, even if your partner is 100% cool with swallowing, you still need to give them an indication of when you’re about to finish. Because the goal isn’t to shock your partner with a surprise. (Remember — there are teeth involved.) The goal is to have a fun, sexy moment with your partner, so don’t try to catch them off-guard with your release.
3. Shower, shower, shower.
One more time — Take a SHOWER. If you know that there’s the potential of you maybe receiving a blowjob tonight, you need to make sure that you’re clean down there. This is so much more important than your cleanliness level during regular sex, because, during sex, someone’s nose isn’t usually smack-dab in the smelliest part of your body. (Also, they’re not normally tasting the smelliest part of your body.)
So, before you have a sexy night out, make sure your undercarriage is thoroughly scrubbed. Maybe use some scented Bath & Body Works stuff. Do it up nice. Just be aware that a blowjob is a much more sensory experience than many other forms of sex, so you need to be respectful in how you present yourself.
4. Don’t be afraid to say something.
Sometimes, the man is just so grateful to be receiving a blowjob that they’re apprehensive about offering any critiques during the act itself. I’m not saying the man should complain, but it’s 100% fine to say things like “Do that again” or “Slower” or “Ow, not so hard.” That’s not you criticizing the person giving the blowjob.
That’s you helping them do their job better.
And they want it to be the best experience it can be for two big reasons. #1). Because, if they’re giving you a BJ, it probably means they like you, and #2). Typically, they want the blowjob to be over as quickly as possible. So, if you telling them “Slower” means that you’ll be finishing that much sooner, trust me, they want to hear that feedback.
5. Don’t be silent.
Even if you have no feedback to offer, it’s always good manners to vocalize a bit when you’re receiving a blowjob. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Maybe a moan or a simple “Oh my god.”
Related Stories From YourTango:But oral sex can be lonely, frustrating work at times. The performer is isolated, devoid of eye contact, and just hoping that all their effort is paying off somehow.
And you can validate their concerns with just a little vocal encouragement, so, even if you tend to go quiet during sexual pleasure, be sure to let your partner know whether or not everything is going great. (If it’s not going well, see tip #4.)
6. Reciprocate.
This one is huge. Following a blowjob, etiquette demands that you offer more than a simple “thank you” in response. More than anything, you should always offer to return the favor and perform oral sex on your partner.
If they don’t want it, that’s up to them. Don’t push the issue. But the offer is everything. The offer of reciprocal oral sex lets your partner know that you don’t just see your relationship as a one-sided thing. If they step up and give you the mouth-happys, you should be more than willing — hell, you should be enthusiastic — to do the exact same thing back to them. It’s only fair.
Men love blowjobs because they feel amazing and they’re one of the most intimate acts men can receive in a sexual relationship. That’s why it’s so important for men to show that they value that intimacy by being on their best behavior when they’re getting a BJ.
Be polite, be clean, think of your partner.
They’re simple little things, but they can mean EVERYTHING to the person performing the oral sex and can help make sure that the man has many more blowjobs coming in their immediate future.
