I've never been a fan of dry shampoo. Not because I didn't want to be, but because I simply haven't been able to get good results the few times I've experimented with it. Try as I might, I would follow the instructions to an absolute perfect T ... and my hair would only look even more pitifully limp and greasy than it had before.

Not. Attractive.

Plus, have you ever smelled it? Nasty!

My lack of skills in the washing-without-actually-washing arena bummed me out for a while because there are plenty of days when it would be so very lovely to be able to simply spritz and go. But last year when I heard the news that dry shampoo has been proven to cause irreparable scalp damage, I found myself relieved that my own experience with the heinous product is so limited.

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Apparently, however, that frightening news hasn't traveled as far and wide as I would have expected. Not only are women out there continuing to risk future baldness by using this toxic hair care product on their heads, but...

There are people out there considering using it on their — *gasps* — pubic hair! Yes! To make the vagina smell better!

Yes, there are some women out there, and we have to assume probably some people of all genders, who have wondered to themselves at least once whether or not dry shampoo works on pubic hair as well as it does on the top of their head.

One user over at Reddit asked her pressing question to her peers in the "is there" section:

"Is there any dry shampoo products for pubic hair/pubic areas?"

With no further information, but confirmation that this question is definitely circulating in the universe, I couldn't let the answer go unresearched any longer and reached out to the customer service team at beauty care legend Dove to ask, "Can I use dry shampoo to clean my pubic hair?"

Their answer was as lackluster as my own head of hair when I try to skip a full shampoo.

"Thank you for contacting Dove.

Our recommendation is use the product as directed on the product label. For alternative usage outside of the standard recommendation, we suggest that you consult with a professional.

Thank you for reaching out to us. Should you have any questions in the future, please do not hesitate to contact us again.

Sincerely,

Dove Consumer Services"

Gee, thanks, Dove. I hadn't thought about following the directions.

Not really the question, but risk management issues. I get it.

With no straight answer to go on, I figured I could at least make an educated guess by simply looking at the ingredients in most dry shampoos and O... M... G...!

Here's what an article in Wired revealed to be 6 common ingredients found in dry shampoo:

1. Cornstarch

"White, powdery cornstarch binds to sebum’s fatty-acid chains through weak electric interactions called van der Waals forces."

OK, this may be sticky, but no big danger I can think of or find anything negative about online. I'm not excited about the idea of "electric interactions" down there, but, hey, to each their own.

2. Kaolin

"This soft clay absorbs grease and cloaks the shine of unwashed locks... The US military has adopted a less superficial application for the stuff — QuickClot Combat Gauze, a surgical bandage impregnated with kaolin. The negatively charged aluminosilicate nanoparticles activate proteins that trigger blood clotting, which builds a barrier between flesh and air."

I guess if I had an actively bleeding wound on my nethers this might not be too bad, but I'm not really sure I feel good about encouraging blood clotting at-home and unsupervised by a medical professional.

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3. Laminaria saccharinaExtract

"Obstetricians sometimes insert a laminaria stick (made from a type of brown algae) in the cervix to induce labor — it absorbs moisture and expands, aiding dilation. Brown algae also makes for a decent sebum sponge. Suppliers farm the algae, chop it up, and treat it in a solution of water, glycerin, and other stuff they wouldn’t disclose to extract this ingredient."

OK, so a) I am allergic to algae of all kinds and am now absolutely terrified about what might have happened if I used this more often, b) I feel fairly certain that one of the number one worst things you can do to your pubic area is to absorb its natural moisture and artificially induce it to expand and dilate, and c) WTF with the "other stuff they wouldn't disclose"?!

This is not going well...

4. Magnesium Stearate

"This anticaking agent coats the surface of starch molecules to keep them from clumping... Magnesium stearate is also the culprit behind bathtub rings; magnesium and calcium in water swap ions with sodium stearate in soap to form the waxy solid that you have to scrub from your tub."

OK, so wait. Now there's an ingredient thrown into the mix in order to manage effects of one of the other ingredients (starch), but that is so dirty and staining most of us know the agony of scrubbing it off of our bathtubs and showers?

Seriously?!

5. Denatured Alcohol

"Ethanol blended with other chemicals (usually methanol) produces a noxious, flammable brew that’s an excellent solvent for cornstarch and kaolin. The liquid alcohol suspends solids without dissolving them and carries the oil-absorbing particles out of the bottle when dispensed."

All I read was "noxious, flammable brew" and I was DONE.

But, I do want others to have complete information from which to make their own decisions, so...

6. Liquefied Petroleum Gas

"Most people opt for spray-on dry shampoo, which uses a propellant to force chemicals out of the can and nebulize them into a fine mist. Aerosol cosmetics like hair spray used chlorofluorocarbons until the late 70s — after scientists realized CFCs wreak havoc on Earth’s ozone layer, the US government banned them. Liquefied petroleum gas (often a combo of butane, propane, and isobutane) became the go-to alternative... Don’t use dry shampoo near an open flame — LPG is highly flammable, so you could end up with your hair on fire."

Highly flammable. HIGHLY FLAMMABLE.

Listen, I'm all for good grooming and proper hygiene, but I wish women would stop treating their vaginas with kid gloves.

It's long been proven that vaginal douching does much harm and no actual good and it is no way to deal with a smelly vagina. Happily, for us women out there, vaginas are self-cleaning, so as long as you don't have an infection of some sort, your lady parts are always good to go!

What about those days when you're feeling "not so fresh"? A warm washcloth should do the trick, and even if you need to stay a wee bit stinky until you can make it into an actual shower, I'd far rather bear a few extra hours with my vagina smelling like an onion than send my body up in flames. But you do you.

And as a bonus, if you need some fun hacks for dealing with dirty hair minus the dry shampoo, check out this video!

Senior Editor and happily-former divorce coach and mediator Arianna Jeret is a recognized expert on love, sex, and relationships (except when it comes to her own life, of course). Join her Sundays at 10:15 PM EST when she answers ALL of your questions on Facebook Live on YourTango's main page.