Emily in Paris

Charade Season 3 Episode 10 Editor’s Rating 4 stars ****

Emily in Paris

Charade Season 3 Episode 10 Editor’s Rating 4 stars ****

Usually I get offended when a show assumes I cannot follow its basic proceedings and insists on doing sloppy plot exposition through dialogue. (“Gosh, sis, you really haven’t been the same since Mom and Dad’s divorce three years ago” — that kind of stuff.) I am a professional recapper; I am paying VERY close attention, often to the detriment of my health and sanity! However, I would give my KINGDOM for a title card at the start of this episode to tell me how long it has been since the events of the previous one! If Gabriel’s reimagined restaurant — complete with a new name, menu, and décor — is ready to open, it’s gotta be more than weeks, right? But if it’s months — knowing the twist from the episode’s end — how on earth has Camille been keeping her status a secret in a city where everybody swills Champagne at lunch? And wouldn’t the confrontation between Mindy and Nicolas over Nicolas’s treatment of Emily at Mindy’s party have happened by now? Armed with no information, we must move forward, our brains as vacant as Emily’s once was. (She does seem a bit sharper these days, non? At least her French is improving.)

As he swore he would, Gabriel named his new restaurant after Grandma Gigi, who I thought was dead just based on how he talked about her (seemed very past tense — am I wrong?) but is, in fact, alive and well and hates Camille, which is a very funny twist. She immediately takes to Emily in a way that is sort of cloying (we get it, we get it) and not at all subtle: “You just KNOW when something is right” [loaded glance at Camille]“and when something is WRONG.”

Also, I like Emily’s plaid outfit. Am I getting weaker, or is her clothing getting better?

At the office, Julien reports that he has landed a meeting with the British suit company Turner & Ascot. He will be making the pitch deck, and Emily canNOT participate. Upon closer inspection here and sans coat, Emily’s outfit is, dare I say, chic. It is definitely French adjacent. Black with white trim. She looks good! She tells the office about Gabriel’s dream to score that Michelin star, but Sylvie explains there’s nothing they can do to help. The inspectors are anonymous. Except Luc knows one! A Marianne he dated until he outed her as an inspector, which is why they broke up. Luc texts Marianne and, over a series of dinners, proves he can keep a secret — she “works for the phone company” — and does right by Gabriel and the gang. Luc’s zaniness is put to good plot-centric use here, and I appreciate it.

Emily and Mindy meet for lunch and, though we have no concept of time here, we know it’s been long enough that they’re doing the awkward thing of “I can’t believe I had to schedule time with you!” Mindy laments that Nico’s social calendar is exhausting. I wonder if she has another job or if she’s just enjoying life as a trophy girlfriend. But this lunch is interrupted by a Camille and Sofia sighting. Emily’s hair is immobile again, but her body takes her over to their table to say hello. Mindy is wearing a bra as a shirt, a neon jacket, and a belly-chain–body-belt situation? I also feel like Sofia’s outfit here is pretty disastrous. Although it’s clear Camille is trying to end things, Sofia says in quite a loaded way that she plans to be back in Paris often. My feelings about Camille in this episode are bittersweet because we are FINALLY getting some real bite here — her barely veiled disdain for Emily, her line readings of “Gigi hates me” — and I just wonder, Where has this been all season??

As they leave lunch, Mindy changes her long-standing advice to Emily to stay out of it. Now that Camille and Gabriel are engaged, Mindy says, Emily has to tell him about Sofia. What optimal timing for all involved parties.

The restaurant opens. Gabriel’s food looks incredible. Camille has an engagement ring from the grandmother-in-law-to-be who despises her. Alfie, Emily, and Mindy have dinner without Nicolas, who couldn’t make it. Emily’s all “as long as it has nothing to do with me” (which is a weird comment if she is trying to be an adult about it and not say anything!), and Mindy replies with a PERFECT “Emily, stop making everything about you!” While Emily meddles in the kitchen over the Michelin inspector in residence, Alfie sidebars with Mindy and tells her what really went down between Nicolas and Emily at the party. Mindy, to her credit, believes the Team Emily version of events immediately and goes straight to Nico to ream him out. I know he’s French, but his aesthetic-slash-vibe here is very American Psycho. And though I did at one point think these two had chemistry, this whole scene feels awfully stiff to me. (That said, excellent delivery by Ashley Park of “I’ve even pretended to care about your brother’s NFT. Do not put any money in that by the way.”) Again, without knowing how long they’ve been dating or what the stakes are for Mindy if this relationship doesn’t work out, it’s hard to see why she’s struggling to choose between “hot mean guy she only just reconnected with” and “best friend and roommate.”

At work the next day, Julien’s pitch is going just swimmingly until Emily hijacks it. I find it a little implausible that these clients would be into Emily’s juvenile, half-baked ideas in the middle of a formal presentation (also, why not just sideline Emily from the meeting altogether?), but things build until Julien blows up: “Do you have an off switch?” Great question! The show is so much more interesting when Emily has a real antagonist! Sylvie assures Julien that she wants him to be happy here and will handle the Emily situation. But will it be enough to keep him here?? That night, we see him sending a mysterious email to a professional suitor … my money is on JVMA.

Off to Camille and Gabriel’s engagement party in Champagne. I’m very into the plot continuity here regarding Camille’s parents’ personalities, the return of Camille’s cool French girlfriends, and the (actually-of-age-now) little brother. Emily is in an extremely frouffy dress that is mini in the front and flowing in the back, and while it’s not my thing, I do think it’s occasion appropriate and in character. Her shoes, as always, are ridiculous. Gabriel’s pale-blue suit looks VERY good on him. I also am really feeling Camille’s off-shoulder situation.

Mindy will eventually arrive looking like she supermarket-swept a strip mall before going clubbing — but in a different wildly inappropriate outfit from the one she was wearing in her apartment while she was waiting for Nico to pick her up?? Why would she need a wardrobe change? (Unless we are to read into this that she hooked up with Benoit and then put on something else after? Seems unlikely to me, but I won’t rule it out.) While Nico is being excessively late to come get her, Benoit pops over to tell Mindy that the reason he didn’t let her use their song for the sunscreen commercial is because he submitted it to Eurovision and they got in. (Remember, this was an argument that basically led to their breakup! Guess he thought it was more important to preserve the surprise?!? Everyone is so dumb!) I guess this means more pointless performances in season four? We were JUST getting to a more interesting place in which Mindy’s love interest and pursuits were entwined with the rest of the show! Please don’t silo her in some boring musical plot again!!

After making Mindy wait an unconscionable length of time without even communicating with her about what he was going to do, Nico takes her to the party via helicopter so their entrance can be super-obnoxious and disruptive and interrupt the father of the bride’s toast. Personally, I would riot if someone did this to me, especially if that someone were, like, the best friend of my nemesis, but somehow the party just resumes as if this never happened. Emily and Nico bury the hatchet, much to my dismay (they were compelling adversaries!), but I guess now we have another Nico-Benoit-Mindy triangle thing ahead of us, which sigh.

At the party, Camille’s mom is laying it on real thick (as is her standard practice) with her daughter: You and I are so alike … By the way, here’s the priest who married your father and me. There’s the chapel where we were wed. No pressure!! The important thing, she says, is that her plan worked. Later, while Camille is on the phone with (presumably) Sofia, Emily overhears her, gets busted, and fesses up that she knows about the kiss and everything else. Camille holds the line: “Our secrets keep us close.” Well, that’s one way to look at it! Camille insists that Sofia was a “fling” and it’s over. “Just like you and Gabriel, right?”

Luc calls Emily to tell her the good news about how Gabriel is on his way to getting that Michelin star. Emily pulls Gabriel aside to tell him, and there is hugging and hand-kissing and “You brought the sunshine to Paris”–ing (barf), and Camille, of course, sees it all. But Gabriel doubles back to tell his betrothed about the star and, high on this success, pitches that they just get married TONIGHT. He is very giddy. Let’s get to the chapel, baby!

As they say their vows, Camille has a breakdown. IMAGINE someone just whispering “You don’t have to do this” while you are marrying them. (My only real issue with this scene is that they would be speaking in French. But maybe Camille is speaking English because she doesn’t want Emily to misunderstand? Okay, I’ve talked myself into the English. Thanks for joining me on that journey.) Anyway, Camille announces that she knows the only reason they’re together is because she knew Gabriel was in love with Emily. And then she explains the pact. THE PACT. All caps in my notes: ARE WE REALLY GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING PACT AGAIN? WHEN WILL THIS LONG INTERNATIONAL NIGHTMARE BE OVER?? Camille accuses Gabriel and Emily of being in love from day one. “It’s time we all just stopped pretending.” She also yells at her mom. The passion is FANTASTIC. Where has this been?! Camille, be mean more often!!

Naturally, in jilting Gabriel, Camille causes some collateral damage: Alfie and Emily’s relationship. “I’m nobody’s second choice,” says Alfie as he dumps her. TWO dramatic exits from church. I would actually kill to be at a wedding with this much drama. Like, what if you were just a plus-one at this thing, with no emotional investment in the players, but got to watch it all go up in flames like this? What a night!

Emily and Gabriel find each other alone. Her dopey clown shoes are really killing the mood for me, but Gabriel does not seem to notice. She explains that she really thought she was doing the right thing by sticking to the pact (ugh) but that she has always had feelings for him. And finally we learn what the Greece conversation was about: Camille is pregnant.

The more I think about this twist, the more disappointing I find it. This is the second time this show is relying on an unplanned pregnancy to move the plot forward. (As you may recall, it was Madeline’s accidental pregnancy that allegedly made it impossible for her to go to Paris in the first place, which is why this show is about Emily at all.) Two times in three seasons? We can’t think of anything else that could happen to a woman? (Are we really convinced that, given the circumstances, Camille would keep this pregnancy? Will this show even allow Camille to humor that possibility? Will we get some awful conversation in which she decides she’s obligated to keep it because it’s so important to Gabriel to have a family? I am FILLED WITH DREAD over this!!) Also, just given how this show handled Madeline’s pregnancy, I am … not optimistic.

Let’s talk about a twist that really DOES work: Laurent and Sylvie’s big news. Laurent is opening a private club in Paris. Sylvie can help him bring in the fashion crowd. They’re such a great team! Good thing they never got around to getting that divorce! But just as they are adorably dancing around the streets of Paris and Sylvie is saying things like “I don’t know what to do with all this happiness” (!), Laurent reveals who his mystery investor is: Louis de Léon. YES. GREAT REVEAL. Actual stakes! For someone I care about! Something to hold on to until season four.

Emily in Paris Season-Finale Recap: Goin’ to the Chapel …