Presenting your new favorite one-woman show: Jilly from Philly with a phantom willy. During a concert that has now been immortalized on the internet (and is definitely being uploaded to Pornhub as we speak), singer and actress Jill Scott gave an (AVN) award-worthy performance of a lifetime as woman onstage pretending to perform fellatio on a microphone. Or maybe it was a ghost hovering right where the microphone met her mouth? Who can be sure. And when we say “pretending,” we mean Scott gripped that mic with her hands, held on for dear life, and went to work. Where were you when you saw Jill Scott moisten her hand and cup testicles that did not exist? How old were you when you watched Jill Scott wipe the invisible money shot from her brow to use as lip gloss? Today years old? Same. Has there been a more transformative, committed, method theatrical work to ever hit a stage? For your consideration, Tonys 2019: Jill Scott, dick whisperer. Her campaign’s energy is already too big to handle: