How (And Why) To Say 'No' To Being A Bridesmaind, According To A Professional
Emily Wong You would think being a professional bridesmaid means obliging to your friends’ requests to be in their wedding, but one woman finally found the courage to say ‘no.'
Jen Glantz, a professional bridesmaid who regularly shares her experience working at weddings online, opened up to Insider about how and why she turned down five of her close friends' requests to be in their wedding.
Glantz wrote, “When I started my company, Bridesmaid for Hire, seven years ago, I realized that people who aren't getting paid to do it shouldn't have to agree to everything that's asked of them.”
Given that she's made a career out of being a bridesmaid, and has been in over 125 weddings, Glantz decided she wasn't going to do it for free for all of her friends.
How and why the bridesmaid turned down her friends' requests:
1. Suggest another alternative to being a bridesmaid.
Glantz wanted to be a part of one of her friend’s weddings, however, she realized her schedule wouldn’t allow her to attend all of the events.
RELATED: Woman Who Strangers Hire To Be Their Bridesmaid Reveals Worst Part Of Her Job
As a result, she suggested being an officiant for the wedding so that she could still be a part of the wedding with a lighter workload.
2. Respectfully decline if you're concerned about costs.
“Another one of my friends is the kind of person who'd expect a lavish bachelorette party and expensive bridesmaid dresses,” she wrote.
Glantz realized that all those expenses would put a hole in her pocket, so she simply refused to be in the wedding.
Her friend had been upset but eventually, she understood Glantz’s perspective and went on to ask someone else to be a bridesmaid.
3. Politely back out if the bride is being difficult.
After agreeing to be a bridesmaid for one friend, Glantz noticed that her personality changed during the wedding planning.
Her friend who was calm and easy-going in a normal situation went to being quite rude to everyone involved in the wedding party.
“She asked me to change my hair color (because she didn't like the way it was highlighted) and buy a second dress for another $300 (because she didn't like the one I bought and altered),” the bridesmaid added.
After that experience, Glantz realized that if she continued to be a bridesmaid for her, their friendship would be ruined so she confronted her friend and was quite honest with her.
Her friend didn’t appreciate it and uninvited Glantz from the wedding and is no longer friends with her.
4. Offer to help plan the wedding in other ways.
As she was already involved in six other weddings, Glantz offered to be a wedding guest at her cousin’s wedding.
“I offered to plan parts of her wedding, read a poem during the ceremony, and help with DIY wedding decor,” Glantz offered to help out with the smaller tasks.
Related Stories From YourTango:This way, she could support her cousin during the wedding without overworking herself.
5. Be direct.
Glantz says, when another friend asked to be her bridesmaid, she told her "no" in a direct fashion.
“This was the type of friend who I hadn't spoken to in over two years, and we'd drastically grown apart,” Glantz explained.
While she appreciated that her friend thought of her for the role, Glantz was direct and let her friend know that she felt uncomfortable being a bridesmaid for her as they didn’t have a close relationship anymore.
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Sanika Nalgirkar is a News & Entertainment Writer for YourTango. She has a master's degree in Creative Writing. See more of her writing on her website.
