How To Get A Boyfriend On A Dating App (As Told By A Guy)

In the not-so-distant future, it's probably going to be weird if you didn't meet someone on a dating app in the same way that it's a little weird having to wait for a friend to return the $20 you lent her like six weeks ago. (Note to self: incorporate a money transfer into a dating app, how could that go wrong?)

That being said, even very smart, considerate and well-intentioned people are terrible at online dating. And it's not entirely their fault. It's a rapidly evolving technology and we haven't had the decades, much less the months, to figure out how to get a boyfriend through profile pics and text messages.

Sometimes it's a matter of getting too wrapped up in the game to recall that it's supposed to be a modality for meeting in real life. Thusly, it's kind of important to recall that you're not playing a game against an algorithm but trying to make a very real connection to a very real person. Unfortunately, the man (or guy or dude or bro, if you're into that) you're trying to turn from highly digital and theoretical into actual and factual may operate from a different set of assumptions than the ones you are.

Luckily, that's nothing you can't work on. Here are some of the back-to-basics things guys wished girls would do on dating apps.

1. Your profile pic shouldn't be a group photo.

Look, we can figure out who it is — we're not lazy. But having an overabundance of group pictures make us wonder if we're going to date your whole clique — daunting — or if you're especially uneasy about your looks. Or, frankly, you're too lazy to have decent pictures of yourself.

That said, maybe leave in one team pic to show you're not some lone wolf incapable of making friends or that you have social hobbies

2. Know WHAT YOU WANT!

You're not signing a legally-binding contract. However, it's really, really nice to know upfront if you're looking for some fun or a future — or even, "let's see where it goes!" It makes any approach more pleasant if we both want the same thing.

You don't have to be graphic about it if you're looking for something physical and short-term, and you don't have to be a John Wayne film-esque schoolmarm if you're looking for something long-term and companion-oriented. Literally, if you just want to find cool friends, put that. It's not always easy to tell from someone's dating profile exactly what they want, but luckily some dating apps, like Badoo, help users clarify what they're looking for from the jump.

3. Don't creep on all of our social networks.

It's weird seeing you in multiple online places on all the apps or social networks. I'm not suggesting that it's wrong to be on a few apps, but it is sometimes like seeing your elementary school language arts teacher at the mall — kinda "how do I know you? are you on TV?" freaky. However, if we have friends in common, feel free to discreetly vet us. Badoo has an intuitive feature to see how close your social circles are to one another and you can let your investigation commence on the low.

Yes, I know guys are much, much more likely to slide into a lady's DMs or email every girl named Claudia at their school if they miss each other on "that one app." But it's still strange to us even if it feels serendipitous to you.

4. If you're not into it, just ghost us.

There is not a good one-size-fits-all solution for people not freaking out about rejection. It is the very definition of personal. You don't want to date us or see us naked because you don't like our person. However, we don't need an after-action report telling us why this isn't going to work. And the guys who claim they do mostly just want to see you squirm.

5. Be assertive.

For some guys, a lady reaching out makes us feel really special. And for other guys, it feels like you’re millenia of romantic norms which, to further subdivide men, is either mildly uncomfortable or wildly attractive. Being assertive in this regard can be very empowering and may start a relationship on the kind of even keel that leads to fantastic mutual respect (and orgasms). Or may lead to some numbnuts thinking you're thirsty and proving he’s not worth your time.

Apps have made it much, much easier to get your-(digital)-self in front of new people with potential. And although the electronic dating landscape is perpetually shifting, you can stay ahead of the curve and leave the BS behind by making Badoo your dating and friending app of choice.

Created in partnership with Badoo.