I promise you, some of the blowjob tips you’ve heard before actually are really stupid. Do not put chocolate sauce on your boyfriend's penis if you want to have sex afterward. Hello, yeast infection!

And making a lot of eye contact? Seriously overrated and might actually throw you off the rhythm. Have you ever looking into someone’s eye for a prolonged period while they have a penis in their mouth? It’s low-key disturbing. Maybe that’s just me, but whatever.

It’s hard to know the difference between good, stupid (but good!) and stupid (and actually stupid!) blowjob tips. When you’ve got women’s publications telling you a bunch of things about food BJs and 69 being a thing people like (not true) and other ones saying not to listen to that advice, what do you do?

You just listen to me instead, obviously.

Honestly, some of these tips below may also sound really strange, but I stand by every one of them. In the great immortal words of Samantha Jones, “Honey, they don’t call it a job for nothing.”

Learning how to give a blowjob (that also doesn’t cause you to choke/seize up and die) is a complicated game. You have to take all the shortcuts you can to make it work (and make it fun). It’s not like you’re going to get off while giving HIM oral sex (though, there are ways around this too).

Without further adieu, here are 8 strange blowjob tips that actually work and make men orgasm fast.

1. Put an ice cube in your mouth.

I truly thought this was ridiculous until I tried it. Don’t get me wrong, this trick can be a little messy. Just remember, it’s water so it dries. It’s a lot easier to get out than oil-based lube.

An ice cube works for a reason you might not have considered. It’s not some insane, over-the-top, orgasmic trick that will make you look like a sex queen; it’s more of an exciting distraction and gives you an edge.

Now, you don’t need to be impressive or a sideshow act to know how to give a blowjob, but it’s fun to change it up sometimes. The cool feeling of the ice is unique and a tiny bit shocking. It’s not practical for every blowjob, but it’s a great trick occasionally.

2. Flavored lube is actually rockin’.

It really depends on the lube you buy. Some flavored lubes are disgusting and some are great. Instead of writing off every flavored lube, try a few different kinds and decide which one you like.

Flavored lube is awesome because it makes the whole blowjob experience more fun and delightful, which in turn helps you stay downtown longer. Just remember, no putting flavored lube anywhere near the inside of your vagina or you could wind up with a yeast infection.

3. Yes, lick the balls.

But not for the reason you think! I mean, sure, licking your boyfriend’s balls is sexy and it does feel lovely, but it also gives you a much-needed break from the sucking aspect of the BJ, which we all know leads to lockjaw. Your man will love getting his balls licked because it is kinky and kind of taboo and hot.

4. Get yourself a masturbation sleeve.

Once again, wasn’t a believer until recently. Masturbation sleeves are thin sleeves made of Elastomer that help you give excellent, carpal tunnel free hand jobs.

I first saw these sleeves at an oral sex class and have never looked back. Get one without a top so you can give the head of the penis some love with your mouth while your hand easily moves up and down the shaft. It’s a shortcut everyone can get behind.

5. Put soda in your mouth.

I am so aware that this sounds completely batsh*t crazy, but it's actually delightful. The carbonation adds a very tingly and sexy effect. Plus, the taste of soda is delicious. Just be sure you go with a diet version, as the sugar in regular soda and make for a sticky gross mess. Yes, I do mean sticky pubic hair.

6. Use a tongue vibe.

This isn’t for everyone, but if you can get past the strange feeling of your mouth being slightly numb, it is fun! If you don’t like it, don’t make yourself use it. It should be as sexy for you as it is for your partner.

You can buy one of these accessories on Amazon and slip it on your tongue like a ring. They’re cheap, easy to use, and actually get the job done (if you know what I mean). I highly recommend this when you want to learn how to give a blowjob.

7. Caress other parts of your partner’s body.

For some people, this one IS overrated. There are both receivers and givers of BJs who just want to focus on the task at hand and not get too fancy with it. If this is your jam, that’s totally fine.

Caressing your partner’s body is a great way to increase intimacy and arousal. Rub your hands over his torso, inner thighs, and shoulders. It makes the whole “job” more pleasurable and sexy, which will help make it hot for you.

8. Don’t treat it like a job (even though it definitely is).

I know this one sounds ridiculous, but it truly works. You have to be into the blowjob to make it good. I gave my partner the best blowjob of his entire life last week (his words, not mine) and when I tried to figure out what I’d done differently (apart from the above tips), it was my downright enthusiasm of the whole experience.

If you’re not into the blowjob, just do some other sexy thing. If your partner really, really wants a blowjob, just make it a very quick foreplay step before sex. Of course, you’re never obligated to do something you don’t want to do, but we all make compromises. I only give head to get head, for instance.

Psyche yourself up. Remember you are a sexy, hot goddess and that you are a maven with your mouth. It’s a turn-on to make your partner feel good, as long as you’re in the right frame of mind.

The point is, if you don’t enjoy yourself, no one is going to enjoy themselves. There is nothing sexy about your partner going down on you just to appease you. That’s kind of depressing.