I love a good hand job, if done right it's the best kind of foreplay around. 

Yeah, yeah, oral sex is where it's at, I know, dudes love a blowjob. But let's be real, blowjobs aren't everything when it comes to bangarang foreplay. 

The hand job doesn't have a great reputation, and that's probably because guys can do it themselves, and DIY isn't something we tend to associate with foreplay. I believe that half the allure of the blowjob is the fact that (unless he plans on getting a rib removed) no dude can do it to himself.

Handjobs are also underrated as foreplay because people straight up don't know that, when done well, the hand job is an art just like a blowjob. 

In her book, The Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl Sex, Doctor Barbara Keesling shares great tips about how to give him a handy that will keep him coming back for more! 

You'll have to be like "dude, I am literally at my job I cannot stop everything and jerk you off right now." 

If you don't like giving handjobs or you're worried your dude finds the way you're touching his penis to be less than thrilling, here are 7 questions to ask yourself inspired by Dr. Keesling's stellar sex advice. 

1.  Are you using enough lube?

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Preferably, start with the lubricant before your partner is fully erect. Giving a penis rug burn is fun for no one and lube helps. 

Put a dollop of the lubricant the size of a fifty cent piece in the palm of your hand and spread it luxuriously on his penis with your other hand. 

Use finesse, and I don't mean the shampoo. I recommend also being creative and having fun. The more fun you’re having, the more fun he’ll be having.

Nickname his penis, talk to it and not to him. After all, Reginald MacPhilips deserve the accolades. 

2.  What feels good to you? 

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When you give your man a hand job, think about touching him in a way that will make YOUR HANDS feel good. 

This will cause you to set aside all your anxiety regarding: am I doing it right? Why is his penis still a noodle? What if my arm gets tired? I know this may sound odd but try it. I don't do anything to Reginald MacPhilips unless it feels good for me too and it works. 

3.  Are you exploring different techniques?

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Try running one or two fingers up and down the length of his penis. Using the middle three fingers on both hands, gently press at the base of the penis, moving your hands around the circle like the face of a clock. 

This is a bit mind-boggling at first but hang in there. It’s supposed to be fun, not stressful! Imagine your trying to find the access code to a safe full of diamonds and Nutella. Only that safe is a fleshy penis. 

4. Are you moving too quickly?  

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As his penis continues to harden, try alternating strokes using either hand. Go really slowly. Don’t skimp on the lubricant.  

Most guys tend to get hand jobs from themselves and do them quickly to get the job done, pun very much intended. Going slowly will be a sexy and refreshing change for him. Expect a lot of moaning and possibly some begging if you're doing it right. 

5. Are you holding his penis at just one angle?

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Experiment with different angles. Most women tend to hold a penis at a 90-degree angle from his body, but going a bit more toward his belly will tend to keep it harder, and going a bit more toward his thighs may make it soften up.  

That said don't go nuts and jerk it around. It's a penis, not a stick shift. Unless you are driving a very strange car. 

6.  Are you combining stroking and squeezing?

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Slowly begin a series of increasingly tight squeezes to the shaft of the penis, backing off between squeezes. Mix these up with slow but firm strokes, caresses, and finger rubs until he has an erection that looks like it’s going to explode. 

Then, stand back, because it very well might! 

I recommend clean up with one or more baby wipes, or a wet face cloth. This can be part of your loving gesture toward him, too, rather than “his problem.”

My note to all women everywhere, don't be grossed out by his sperm. You don't have to lap it up like the finest cream, but don't make him feel like it's a problem either. 

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