We all want the fairy tale romance to a degree. Having someone who’s so obsessed with you they’re willing to fight off dragons and evil stepmothers is kind of the dream. 

When we were growing up, love was painted as this beautiful thing you had to go through hell to get. Of course, we thought hell would look a little more like dark forests and witches.  

But as adults, we realized that fighting with your other half is essentially fighting for love — if you’re doing it the right way. 

Too often, we mistake passion for romance and see intense, plate-smashing quarrels as a sign of something deep. I mean, if love doesn’t make you want to tear your hair out than it’s not love, right?

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I kind of argue no. While we’re all humans and have the capability to be pushed to the edge, there are some people who want to fight for the sake of fighting or get some sort of high from getting their S.O. all worked up. I’d probably avoid those people if I were you. 

When you’re fighting with your partner, the end goal should always be to come back together. To get back to a place of peace and happiness.

To make sure that no matter what you’re disagreeing on, you both know you mean a lot to each other. 

If you leave every fight questioning if he even cares about you, it might be time to call it quits. If he takes days to apologize (even if he’s not wrong — it’s the gesture that counts) and make things right, then it might be better to break up. 

You deserve someone who will fight with you, but also for you. Someone who won’t let a disagreement tear you apart or make you question your place in their life. 

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Passion is great and fighting is healthy, but it is easy to get so caught up in the drama of a relationship that you forget to remind yourself why you’re in it. You can’t hold on to something just because you’re afraid of letting go. 

So if you’re feeling like fighting is all you do — and you’re not sure what you’re even fighting for anymore — reevaluate the relationship you’re in.

You deserve someone who won’t risk losing you.