By Simcha Whitehill

Burlesque superstar Jo Boobs has been wowing audiences and teaching eager exhibitionists with her amazing va-va-voom skills and teaching others how to perform a burlesque strip tease. The School of Burlesque's Headmistress Jo has taught me all my naughtiest moves and took me from clumsy nerd to confident lap dancer. Yes, she's that good, people!

While classes and shows have been for the lucky few who live in the New York City area, now, in a bookstore near you, is a new manual that'll have you bumpin' and grindin' with the best of them. Ms. Boobs' opus, The Burlesque Handbook, is everything you need to know to take your foreplay to striptease heaven. It gives readers a taste of her tips, from what to put on and how to take it off.

Here's how to perform a burlesque strip tease and wow your audience.

1. Touch yourself.

"The most important thing to keep in mind is that you can make them think of the way you feel by touching yourself — running your finger along your arm, caressing your shoulder, and touching your neck. This makes them think that you're nice to touch."

2. Think about where their eyes are.

"We watch so many videos that we think our partner sees us from all angles, but in reality, the only camera on you when you're doing a tease for your lover is their eyes. Always think about where their eyes are, and make sure they can see what you're showing them, or tell when you're deliberately teasing and concealing." 

3. Be mindful of your outfit.

"Onstage, you need major sparkles, but in private, you need fabrics that have sensual texture. Delicate lingerie won't work onstage; sequins can scratch your lover during a lap dance. Think about how they feel!"

4. Wear yummy scents.

"Wear a fragrance they like, whether it's perfume, sweat, or soap, and move closer and then further away to tease them with fragrance and body heat."

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5. Make sexy eye contact.

"Tease them with eye contact just like you tease them with everything else. Look at their eyes, then look at your own breasts, then look back at them to catch them looking!"

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