Turns out, John Mayer is as brilliantly prolific when it comes to apologizing as it does to giving crazy interviews and playing blues guitar. After his Q&A with Playboy — in which he used both the N-word and the phrase “I’ve got … a fucking David Duke cock” — had people on the Internet upset, Mayer tweeted a concise, sober apology. He then followed it up last night, from the stage at Nashville’s Sommett Center, with a rambling, near-weepy apology. Kid’s got range! The bulk of it is transcribed below.

“it’s been difficult because in my quest to be clever… in the quest to be clever and try to slither out of what i perceived to be constant persecution or somebody trying to pin me, which may or may not ever really be happening, but i think that it is a lot of the time when it’s actually not. in the quest to be clever, i completely forgot about the people that i love and that love me. and as i have begun to (???) a whirlpool of selfishness, and greediness and arrogance…and thinking if i just continue to be speedy and witty and pull together as many fast words and phrases as i could, that i would be clever enough to buy myself another day without anybody pinning me down and saying ‘you’re a creep’. and when i should have just given that up and played the guitar… so i decided i would try to be as clever as possible all the time. and i did that at the expense of people that i love and that feels absolutely terrible. it feels worse than any headline i thought i could get my way out of. and i think it’s important that you know that everybody on this stage is here playing with me not because they condone what i say in any interview… they are not on this stage because they support what i said, they’re on this stage because they support myself as a possible future grown-up. and maybe they see something that i don’t… so maybe i need to take a break from trying to be clever and spend a little time looking at what they see. cause they’ve done an unbelievable thing standing on this stage and standing by my side tonight. it’s just not worth being clever…. i’m out …. just wanna play my guitar … “

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A few spare thoughts:

1. We actually empathize with Mayer trying to break up the usual, assumedly mind-numbing promotional cycle with crazy talk. As an entertainment blog, it certainly makes our lives easier!
2. We’re also sure he knew he’d be apologizing for the Playboy interview as soon as it was over, which is kind of annoyingly calculated.
3. And then again, if he just plays his guitar, that would be so boring.

John Mayer tearfully apologizes, admits he tries too hard to be clever. [ONTD]

John Mayer Apologizes Again for His Racist Penis