Sex Education

Episode 3 Season 4 Episode 3 Editor’s Rating 4 stars ****

Sex Education

Episode 3 Season 4 Episode 3 Editor’s Rating 4 stars ****

Since the beginning, the struggle to communicate has been a major theme of Sex Education. Talking is the way we best come to understand each other, but sometimes it isn’t enough. Sometimes, there’s an unbridgeable gap between two people, and words fail. You might speak to someone every day for decades and yet still feel like they don’t understand some fundamental part of you; you might meet someone for the first time and feel seen within seconds.

Otis and Eric are best friends, and we know they’ll stay that way because this isn’t the type of show to irreparably wrench apart its central friendship in the final season. But it’s also fitting that the writers are taking the time to more closely interrogate that friendship in this last stretch. The fight that’s slowly building between them now might not turn out to be as visceral and raw as their heartbreaking season-one confrontation, but it’s based on a difference of perspective that feels completely natural and true to them.

Because when it comes down to it, Otis could be a perfect ally, but he’ll never know exactly where Eric is coming from during this complicated time in his life. He’ll never truly know what it’s like to be torn between living freely as yourself and hiding who you are for the sake of faith and community. It’s not that Otis isn’t down to attend the queer night at the Labour Club; he wants to go to be a wingman for Eric and dresses up in his best queer cosplay for the occasion. But he doesn’t belong in that space like Eric and his new friends do. What the space signifies is totally different to him than it is to Eric.

So when the Coven invites Eric over to get ready together, he realizes that maybe his first real queer night out should be with his fellow queer friends, not with his supportive straight friend. Roman and Aisha might be simplifying the matter when they call straight people “basic” and speaking to them “emotional labor,” but they have a point. It can feel revelatory to meet people like yourself when you’re used to friends who, even at their most empathetic, can only attempt to understand.

The club is everything Eric hopes it will be, a more-than-worthy follow-up to season three’s night out in Lagos. After taking ecstasy, he hooks up with a guy from church, leading to an interesting conversation about reconciling queerness and faith. From Hot Church Man’s perspective, living in the closet can be frustrating, but leaving the church is out of the question. It’s his whole heart; he can’t cut it out. Can Eric?

For Cal, the queer night offers an opportunity to marvel at the other young trans people at different points on their transition timelines. When it comes to attraction, Cal is most captivated by Aisha, though she’s already in a relationship. But when it comes to their own transition aspirations, Cal is drawn to Roman, whose top surgery Cal envies. The waiting lists for gender clinics have been endless, and Cal had to see a private consultant for testosterone. Roman went private for his surgery, an option Cal may start considering.

Otis may be left out of these important moments, and he also currently feels left behind by Maeve. But Ruby is there for him when he needs it. First, she helps him film a campaign video for student counselor, reminding him of his skill at making people feel heard. He eventually nails it, bringing up his own rich history of sexual insecurity and emphasizing the importance of talking. Next, she invites him to stay after Eric sort of un-invites him, admitting that she never had plans with Anwar and Olivia, like she said. They have new friends at their new school now, and she’s back to eating lunch in the restroom every day, just like in primary school.

We learn more about that early-childhood experience in “Episode Three.” It turns out Ruby met Sarah Owen, a.k.a. O, at sleepaway camp as a kid. O seemed kind at first, only to expose Ruby’s bed-wetting habit and chant “bed wetter!” along with all the other mean girls. Ruby isn’t willing to use the memory to tank O’s campaign, but she notes the obvious irony of O preaching kindness considering her unwillingness to admit what she did as a kid.

Otis wakes up in bed with Ruby the next morning, and when he leaves to call Maeve, she looks hurt. Ruby dismissed the possibility of still having feelings for Otis multiple times, but it’s clear there was still some far-off hope there, and it remains very sad to see her pining away. But it’s Maeve who’s really going through it in this episode. Not only did she lose her dream internship to a nepo baby yesterday, and not only did her professor tell her not to get her hopes up about being a writer, but her mother overdosed. Maeve is on her way back to Moordale now.

In the meantime, Aimee’s burgeoning love story with Isaac provides a nice feel-good counterpoint to all the drama. Every episode, I’m more invested in these two getting together, and “Episode Three” certainly sells their almost-kiss. When he calls her a maverick, there’s amusement and wonder in his eyes. I love that Isaac sees Aimee the way Maeve sees her: as a quirky and unique but very intelligent person. By exposing her to self-portraiture, maybe he’s helping her define herself that way too. Aimee seems uneasy about their budding romance, given Isaac’s history with Maeve, but this couple just makes too much sense not to work out.

Isaac seems to intuitively get Aimee, and he’s curious about her when he doesn’t know the full picture. Michael Groff has no such natural emotional intelligence. For years, he expressed no genuine interest in his son, and now he’s finding it quite awkward to connect. During his driving lesson, Adam slams into a stop sign, and Michael snaps at him, only to apologize for the second time in two episodes. It’s a mark of how well we know these characters — and how well Alistair Petrie plays Michael — that we understand exactly why Adam is so disconcerted with his dad’s new gentleness.

But what matters is that he’s trying; he even admits that he once thought he was gay for a week as a teenager watching Clint Eastwood. (Maureen had her own moment of bi-curiosity sitting behind a girl with a beautiful neck.) It’s important that he’s making a real effort to listen and learn as Adam slowly, tentatively begins to open up to him, formally coming out as bi and mentioning the pain he felt from losing Eric.

It might be a while before Adam fully trusts his dad and his newfound “How to Be a Better Man” learnings. Maybe this gentleness will feel fake or unnatural at first. But after enough time, hopefully, it’ll feel normal, like it always should have been. So how do you begin to connect with someone you’ve never really understood? You listen to their perspective without pushing back. You respond carefully, thoughtfully, without judgment. Most important, you just try.

All the Good Things and the Bad Things That May Be

• There’s a small moment when Otis leaves his room in his outfit for the queer night and seems to pause for Jean’s reaction, especially after mentioning that he’ll be home late. But she doesn’t seem to particularly notice or care, presumably distracted by Joy, so he moves on.

• I also love the detail of the colors on a church flyer matching the rainbow stamp on Eric’s wrist from the night before.

• Jackson is getting an ultrasound and blood tests for the lump he discovered, and the mention of his sperm donor also suggests we might meet his biological father sometime soon.

• Viv and Beau’s first kiss is pretty cute, but otherwise, I still don’t have much to say about this story yet.

• Jean’s experience in the baby group, along with her meltdown while fussing with a baby wrap, might point to postpartum depression, a subject I trust this show to handle with sensitivity. But the reappearance of Dan (Daniel Ings), and his flirtation with Joanna, immediately felt like an obvious sign to me that he’s Joy’s father, especially considering his appearance in season three. In case you don’t recall, Jean and Jakob ran into him outside the hospital, and he even asked if the baby was his — a question that made Jakob start to question the paternity himself.

Sex Education Recap: Emotional Labor