Jeanine Pirro is continuing to do amazing, sweetie. A few weeks after she appeared to be disheveled and intoxicated while filming her Fox News show from home, the judge (Cecily Strong) swung by Weekend Update to give an update about her definitely sober, definitely under control quarantine lifestyle. Why would you even ask? “I hope you’ll forgive me, I had to do my own makeup while looking into a spoon,” she explained. “I’m perfectly fine. Although I’ll admit that it’s been tough for all of us. For what seems like forever, I’ve been sitting at home, drinking, and complaining to whoever would listen. Then this whole coronavirus thing happened!” Boxes of Merlot aside, Pirro is also indulging in daily rounds of cocktails that should probably be consumed sarcastically, but whatever. “It’s called a PinaCloroxa,” she said between sips. “It’s pineapple juice, coconut milk, and a half cup of bleach. And not the bottom shelf kind they use on truck stop toilets. The good stuff! That’s cleansing. I can feel it in my chest.” Who wants to tell her?