The Bachelorette

Week Four Season 20 Episode 4 Editor’s Rating 5 stars *****

The Bachelorette

Week Four Season 20 Episode 4 Editor’s Rating 5 stars *****

It’s been a rough few years for us Bachelor Fans. We’ve had to slog through boring season after boring season, defending the show to people in our lives who don’t have the same dedication we do. We know how exciting and fun the show can be, and we keep tuning in, hoping that we’ll see that spark again. Folks, four episodes into Charity’s season, I think I can confidently say: we’re back, baby.

I said in my episode one recap that Charity is good at being the Bachelorette, and I think she proved that especially well in this episode. We’ve also got one of the most compelling villains we’ve seen in a while. Brayden is certainly the most compelling villain The Bachelorette has had in years. (The Bachelor has always had better villains — the sister show’s villains tend to just be varying flavors of Toxic Masculinity.) I’ve already talked a lot about Brayden, and I’m going to do it a lot more tonight because this is my last chance to do so (theoretically — the up-next preview certainly wants us to believe he comes back) but there’s a lot of great stuff to unpack so let’s get right to it.

This episode opens with two pieces of shocking information delivered extremely casually. First, Charity drops that we’re halfway through the season??? It’s only episode four! Are we down to an eight-episode season? Is the franchise in that much trouble?? Honestly, though, a shorter season might be good for the show; it’d mean we could cut out a lot of repetitive filler. Remember in peak pandemmy when ABC did a Greatest Seasons Ever special? I argued then that the single-episode recap was the best way to watch the show, and I stand by it. Eight episodes is a good idea; I just hope it’s not a harbinger for cancellation. A shocking piece of information No. 2: We’re just in Washington now. But really, once again, I’m totally fine with this development. We don’t need so many shots of the contestants feigning excitement at whichever destination’s tourism board gave ABC the biggest tax write-off.

We do find out that this part of Washington is known for Bigfoot sightings. Jesse Palmer excitedly tells us this information while the editors give him an “Amateur Bigfoot Enthusiast” chyron. At the end of the episode, we get b-roll of Bigfoot walking around the woods, which of course, turns out to be Jesse in a mask. Usually, those post-credit stingers are goofy moments from dates — often erroneously called bloopers — that should have just been in the show, but this was 10/10, no notes.

Jesse has a date card with Dotun’s name on it. It’s a bungee jumping date, which means Dotun is afraid of heights. If I was a Bachelor/ette contestant, I would absolutely tell them a fake biggest fear because if they asked me to get in a shark cage, I simply could not, even if The Bachelor was Chris Pine. Charity is freaked out by the concept of jumping off a bridge too, and they comfort each other as they plummet into thin air. When they come up, they’re giddy. A rainbow appears! They even end up doing it a second time!

I said last week that Dotun was a really sweet guy, and Charity clearly liked him, but I didn’t see a spark between them. I don’t think I was wrong, I think they just got the spark they needed from jumping off a bridge together. This is just a pro tip: if you’re into someone but the chemistry isn’t quite clicking, adrenaline can get you the rest of the way there. Why else do you think so many teens go on amusement park dates? Ride a roller coaster with your crush; If you don’t smooch after, it wasn’t meant to be. (Sorry, Warwick.)

At the dinner portion of the date, Dotun and Charity continue to bond over their experiences of feeling isolated. Dotun shares the story of how he immigrated to the U.S. when he was four, and Charity talks about growing up as one of the only Black kids surrounded by white people. It’s a sweet, vulnerable, honest conversation — the kind you’d actually have when getting to know someone. Then they Lady-and-the-Tramp a s’more, which is perhaps the messiest food you can try to share, so you know they really like each other. It’s just nice!

One other cute thing I liked: When Charity picks Dotun up at the guys’ hotel, she says, “I’m driving, always.”

Next up is a group date, and it’s getting to the point where boys who haven’t had a one-on-one are getting nervous. Sean says that it’s getting serious because hometowns are soon. Are they?? Hometowns are for the final four; we’ve got ten guys left. Are we really going to cut through them that quickly? I’m not mad at it; I’m just surprised. I’m also wondering if that means they knew it’d be a shorter season order while filming. Who made that decision, and when? More importantly, is anyone else besides me interested in this?

Joey, Aaron, Michael, Caleb, Brayden, Sean, John, and Tanner are on the group date card, which means Xavier is getting the one-on-one. The group date is a “woods date,” with lots of talk about “taking care of” and “providing for” Charity. Philosophically I want to hate it, but it turns out to be extremely cute and silly thanks to a group of “experts,” a.k.a. Girl Scouts. Sorry, they’re introduced as Skamania Scouts. A quick Google search for Skamania Scouts yields no results, and I’m also pretty sure I’ve seen one of the “scouts” on TV as a child actor. I am forced to conclude that the scouts are ringers. But that’s fine because these girls are a fucking delight. One of them gives the boys an evil eye that would put Tamra Judge to shame; the other delivers her lines like the mean teacher in a Disney Channel show. This is a vibe, and I love these girls. They were clearly given the directive, “Be a little stinker,” and they ran with it. Evil eye girl does an Exorcist voice after Sean calls them demons. I want to adopt her.

The girls ask Charity, “Who do you think is the smartest? Brayden or Joey?” Charity’s reply: “Not Brayden.” Cut to Brayden eating some random mushrooms he found in the woods. This is what I mean about the editors having fun. Brayden is walking around without a coat on and says that he’s asserting his dominance. This was in the episode preview and meant to come across as sincere, but in full context, he’s clearly making a joke. Yes, it’s annoying. No, it’s not “toxic,” as Aaron claims. Later in the day, Brayden is hamming it up and Tanner just says, “Brayden, do less, bro.” That is exactly Brayden’s problem. He has to do the most.

At one point during the date, Brayden says of the dedicated group date one-on-one time, “I hear a lot of people saying they’re gonna earn it, they’re gonna fight for her love and affection. I dunno, I feel like she’s gonna give it to the person she wants to give it to.” I agree! There’s a lot of talk on these shows about fighting for someone, and I always think: it doesn’t work like that. You either click with someone or you don’t, and there’s not much you can do about it. You can make sure someone knows how you feel about them, even better, you can work on yourself to be a better partner, but you can’t force a chemistry that isn’t there, especially not by doing well on a silly challenge for a television show. I truly do hate defending Brayden, an abandoned Bratz Boyz doll come to life, but he’s not wrong here!

Then Brayden’s nemesis Aaron wins, and things get a little dicier. I’m going to transcribe Brayden’s quote in full because I think there’s a lot to dissect. He says, “If she wants a cookie-cutter dude, that’s your cookie-cutter dude right there. It’s nothing against her, she’s a great girl, but it’s just like, I love life, I’m not going to settle for someone that doesn’t add to my life. I like her; I think she’s an amazing woman; she might be an amazing woman for someone else that’s not me.” First, I want to note that this was clearly cut up in the editing room; he was most likely asked some pretty leading questions here. But this is the only text we have, so it’s all we can go on.

I talked a lot last week about how Brayden’s biggest problem is not that he’s here “for the wrong reasons”; it’s that he’s not engaging with the show on the show’s terms. I think this quote is a further illustration of that. In a normal dating situation, if the person you’re casually seeing is also showing interest in someone you really don’t get along with, someone you think is very different from you, it would be entirely valid to question whether you were compatible. The thing is, we’re not in a normal dating situation. Brayden knows that. And while yes, I can understand that knowing something, in theory, is very different from experiencing it, he’s also experiencing the exact same thing as the rest of the men. I think part of why this type of villain is so frustrating to the rest of the cast is that they’re like, “You’re not smarter than me for pointing out that this is weird and hard.” I absolutely get that! But it’s also hard for me to sympathize with Aaron when he’s saying that Brayden is wrong and disrespectful for not being 100 percent sure about the “process.” I would actually argue that it’s more disrespectful of Aaron to say that Brayden is “playing [Charity] like a puppet.” She’s an adult woman who can make her own choices!

And make her own choices she sure does. Charity walks into the middle of another Brayden vs. Aaron showdown and pulls Brayden aside to see what’s up. He says that he’s insecure because he sees her making connections with other guys, and it’s too hard for him. This is a conversation we’ve had countless times on the show, but Charity is so good at talking about her feelings that it is a lot more coherent than, say, Katie Thurston accusing Greg of gaslighting her. Conflicts on this show are unlike conflicts you’d have anywhere else, but you still learn how people argue. Notice how Charity tells Brayden exactly how she feels: frustrated, sad, disappointed. Brayden can’t really do the same, instead just rambling about how he’s not excited. Charity returns to the cocktail party to tell the rest of the guys that she sent Brayden home. (It read as more mutual to me, but Brayden clearly saw the writing on the wall, so I’ll allow it.)

Anyway, Joey gets the group date rose.

Onto Xavier’s one-on-one. I really like Xavier, but we haven’t seen much of him, probably because he’s minding his own business, sticking to his knitting while the rest of the boys bicker. A chill king! They go to a fruit festival, and it looks like a lot of fun, but uh oh, Charity says he reminds her of her ex. She acknowledges it isn’t fair to him, but if you’re not vibing, you’re not vibing, and that’s not anyone’s fault! Later it comes out that her ex cheated on her, and that’s why she’s wary. But Xavier quickly proves that he’s not Charity’s ex, telling her all about his mom, who has multiple sclerosis, and his dad, who is her primary caregiver. Xavier would want to do the same thing for his wife. He’s getting a Ph.D. in biomedical science, hoping to research a cure for MS. So, obviously, he gets a rose. He’s hot, smart, and sensitive. Calling it now — Xavier will be the next Bachelor. All the roses will be hand-knit.

Everyone talks about how good they feel about the cocktail party now that Brayden is gone … cue Brayden crashing the cocktail party. The editors frame him like a slasher villain as he stalks through the woods to the sliding glass door, brushes past the assembled men, then looms over Charity’s shoulder as she makes out with John in the designated make-out room. When they finally notice him, John heads back to the couches. Everyone’s pissed. (Sean makes fun of Brayden’s scarf, and a producer asks, “You’re wearing a scarf, what’s the difference?” to which he replies, “This is cashmere.” This show is funny, guys!)

Brayden tells Charity he didn’t like how things ended with her. She’s done, though. He says he wants to make sure she knows she didn’t do anything wrong. She laughs and says, “I know it wasn’t me.” This is Brayden’s last-ditch attempt at making himself the main character, and I am officially done defending him. This is a bad move, plain and simple. But rather than let Brayden look bad on his own, which he very much does, Aaron again makes himself Sheriff of Charity’s Feelings. He confronts Brayden as he tries to march back to the party bus (??) he rode in on, demanding that he apologize to everyone. Honestly, the person who comes across best here is John, who calmly asks Brayden why he felt the need to interrupt his time with Charity. I don’t think we’ve seen a lot of him because he stays out of the drama and also doesn’t have much chemistry with Charity, but I’ve liked John from the beginning.

Aaron tells us, “[Brayden’s] not gonna live rent-free in my head,” which is the biggest lie I’ve heard since my husband told me he “doesn’t know” if I pooped the bed during childbirth. My dude, Brayden is singing “One Song Glory” over the trashcan fire in your brain. He’s squatting, and he’s not moving out.

We head to the rose ceremony, and there are only three roses to give out?? I guess we really are getting down to the wire. Aaron, Tanner, and Sean get roses. Caleb, Michael, and John are going home. Caleb is crying! John is crying! Even sweet Xavier is crying to see his friends leave! Yes!!!! Feed me the tears of the handsome boys! Don’t worry, gentlemen. You’ll clean up on Bachelor in Paradise.

The Bachelorette Recap: That’s So Brayden