Did you know that you can actually trigger a man’s desire for a commitment? You can learn how to get a boyfriend by creating that feeling of “You’re the only woman I want” with the guy you're dating.

While an initial spark is all it takes for a man to ask you out and crave you sexually, there needs to be something more for him to want to commit to you exclusively and become your boyfriend. He needs to feel that he can’t wait to make you his and that he can’t stand the thought of you being with anyone else.

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Rather than having “the talk” or giving him ultimatums, wouldn’t it be great if you could create that feeling with the guy you're dating so that he is the one asking you for a commitment?

Here are the most effective ways to get a guy to commit to you:

1. Don't keep bringing up the "commitment" discussion

When you feel anxious or worried about where your relationship is headed, it's hard to resist wanting to know what he’s thinking. But constantly trying to talk with him about commitment feels stressful to him and will only make him dig in his heels and retreat, even if he was on the verge of committing all on his own.

So, no matter how much you’re dying to know what he’s thinking, resist the temptation to bring up this tender topic.

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2. Don't try convincing him

The more you try to make a case for how great you are as a couple, the more he feels cornered and manipulated. Your reasoning feels like criticism to him and makes him unable to share his true feelings. That’s certainly not the vibe you want to create in a loving relationship.

A man falls in love when he feels like he can make you happy by being himself and sharing the deepest parts of who he is. By rejecting those parts, you make him feel wrong and cause him to protect his true feelings — and his heart — from connecting with yours.

3. Do share your good feelings

When you feel good about a man, let him know! By opening up and sharing your feelings, you allow him to connect to you and the positive experience you are sharing. It makes him feel good that he makes you feel good, and he'll want more of that good stuff.

As you continue to lay a stronger foundation of positive feelings, it’s only natural that he will see you as a necessary and beautiful part of his life — and he’ll want to make sure you stay in it.

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4. Do say what you want — with or without him

Instead of trying to convince him to commit, share your dreams and what you want for your future. For example: "I don't want to put pressure on the relationship. I don't want to try to convince you or rush you. It feels good to be with you, but I know I want to have a family someday. What do you think?"

When he sees that you are first and foremost committed to yourself and your dreams, he will feel fired up about you. He will appreciate you as having high value and, therefore, be triggered to want you all to himself.

5. Do keep your options open

Dating is a time for you to find out what you really want in a relationship. You can’t do this if you close yourself off to other men before you have the commitment you desire.

By meeting a lot of people, you open yourself up to discovering a truly great match. You also avoid making any one man the center of your world. Remember, your first commitment is always to you.

As you can see, the key to getting a boyfriend and making a man want you all to himself is to be the woman who loves him but doesn’t need him. When he senses that he’s very lucky to have you, he’ll be motivated to seal the deal and commit before another guy gets in there first.

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Rori Raye is a relationship coach who writes about dating and relationship advice to help thousands of women transform their love lives. 

This article was originally published at Have the Relationship You Want. Reprinted with permission from the author.