The Real Housewives of Potomac

Cleaning Up the Mess Season 7 Episode 10 Editor’s Rating 4 stars ****

The Real Housewives of Potomac

Cleaning Up the Mess Season 7 Episode 10 Editor’s Rating 4 stars ****

By my count, we have had at least three “to be continued” closing shots so far this season – and I don’t know about you all, but I feel like if you end an episode with half of the cast getting in a fight in an SUV on the way back  from the club, we should pick up the next one right where we left off. I am no newbie to the reality game, and I can appreciate that union rules likely prevented a full camera setup when they returned to their AirBnB in the wee hours of the morning (and knowing Miami’s sprawl, that drive likely took 45 minutes minimum), but we could at least get some footage before being plopped right back in Maryland with next to no fanfare. Thank God Ashley was committed to her job and took her phone right out the second chaos erupted, or we would have spent the rest of the season litigating that lost hour like the tortuous cycles of fictive drama that plague Beverly Hills season after season.

But I digress. The girls are debriefing, decompressing, and detoxing from a girls’ trip gone wrong. Karen is literally sweating out the toxicity in her home sauna; Mia is preparing for the non-event that is her DC chiropractic opening. Robyn and Gizelle are planning for their first live podcast event, but it is really just an excuse to gossip about Wendy. Ashley faithfully reported back to Gizelle that Wendy and Robyn were on lighter terms at the club, and instead of acknowledging that the two had a tequila-influenced moment of nostalgia for the friendship they had lost, like many people several shots in are wont to do, Robyn reframes the interaction that we saw on camera as Wendy being desperate to mend fences and her being more circumspect about the interaction, which greatly pleases her green-eyed partner in crime. It is fascinating that Robyn is more open to repairing the issue with Candiace, who spent their ride back from the club calling her everything but a child of God, than Wendy, who had a harsh moment but never screamed at her.

Speaking of the issue with Robyn and Candiace, the entire premise behind the conflict is illogical. I didn’t linger on it too much last week because I prioritized the play by play, but Robyn is carrying on about a live that Candiace never deleted — it is actually still on her Instagram, if you feel like watching all 1:45 of it —  but in the live, she specifically exempts Robyn from her tirade and even shouts out her hat business (and apparently a coming skincare line? And y’all say Wendy is all over the place?). Yet here we are litigating the fact that…what, Candiace doesn’t like Gizelle and Ashley? The only people who have a place to feel a way, if anything, would be Karen and Wendy, and both let it roll off their shoulders after a clarifying conversation. It also contextualizes why Candiace got so mad: she felt that she’d made it clear where she stood with Robyn, only for her to take an opportunity to throw her under the bus over “you said it.” I don’t think Candiace is trying to hide a live that she saved to her Instagram. Her statements were misrepresented and that infuriated her – except for the Karen one, which was her letting her guard down under Ashley Darby, the walking plot device.

Regardless, there is really no space for proper accountability or reconciliation about the conflict. Robyn is grieving a hard loss with her family friends, and it is reminding her that life is too short to be a raggedy bitch with no scruples. It is probably also a driving force behind her being more open to hearing Wendy out on trying to mend fences at Candiace’s cookout (although Wendy has already revealed that the détente will not last long). All’s well that ends well for now. It just still doesn’t make sense for Robyn to demand that Candiace be more specific, because she was. She is just not ever going to give Gizelle or Ashley an exemption or a break.

Speaking of Ashley, being married to Rumpelstiltskin all these years is taking its toll, and she now can’t leave the house without forfeiting her firstborn. She puts poor Uncle Lump through the ringer hearing her increasingly volatile separation. I do think the split is real and not just for TV, and not purely because Ashley keeps bringing up that boy Luke from Summer House in interviews; the frustrations and fear that she vocalizes are familiar to anyone who has had to walk a friend through a split where the power balance is skewed. Ashley thought she had an easy way out after beating a prenup, and is now realizing that the fight is going to be a little rockier than expected and playing nice isn’t necessarily going to help her out. But she also knows that pulling the plug and getting the forensic accountant will set things in motion that she can’t walk back. Her insecurities are real and valid, although I am sure that she is maneuvering it a lot more nimbly than she is letting on to her castmates or the audience.

Candiace is having a backyard party to celebrate her executive MBA, which I thought was largely reserved for people who had years of professional experience and were prepping for senior management, but hey, congrats on two degrees regardless. I am glad that she copped to gossiping about Karen and chose to apologize and move forward – their relationship has been in a delicate place since season five and I would hate to see their progress fall apart over an IG rant. It is also just great to see Candiace in a more relaxed atmosphere, with a lot of her actual friends and community coming out to celebrate her. Wendy is always proud of someone getting a new degree; Robyn looks like she’s making a stop in between Target trips, but I will chalk it up to her grieving process. At least Robyn and Wendy use the occasion to talk things out a bit, for however long that will last. That said, I feel like what Robyn is trying to say is that Wendy can be a bit didactic, which is true. That is quite different than saying she makes everything a debate; they all debate all of the time, particularly in group settings. Housewives argue; calling Wendy out for arguing makes you sound pedantic and small.

We also find out that Robyn is now planning for her wedding to be “family-only.” I am not knocking an intimate wedding — do whatever makes you happy — but there is no way I believe that Robyn will get married without Gizelle as a witness, nor does it make sense for her to waste everyone’s time with this non-event after dragging out the date for three years now, unless Bravo refused to film it and shell out the budget accordingly. After three seasons of treading water, your big event — a Bravo wedding at that — is going to be smaller and have a lower budget than Mia’s chiropractic branch opening? Say it with me: be f**king for real.

Amid all this, dear old Ray is trying his best to smooth things over for Gizelle and asking Chris whether he would be open to taking one for the team and apologizing for how he made her feel, which sends him into an understandable tailspin. Like Chris and Candiace explain in the confessional, it’s not like the apology would necessarily resolve things at this point, and seeing as how they were blindsided by the scenario in the first place, they have no clue what Gizelle would be gearing up to say in response and would rather mitigate the space for additional damage. It’s unfortunate that we couldn’t make it through another episode without bringing in this drama that clearly will not be resolved anytime soon, but Mama Dorothy clearly foresaw dangerous waters ahead when she saw that brown snake in the grass and said that Gizelle’s presence was in the building after all.

Next week, Karen takes the occasion to mock Gizelle and Robyn’s low-budget live show as she preps her own touring event, and the Mia and Jacqueline storyline heats up, with the green-eyed AKA right in the middle stirring up that mess. See you then!

Cherry Blossoms

• I don’t know how many of you all have Peacock, but I have been watching season five of Real Housewives of Miami and let me tell you – between the yachts and multimillion dollar houses, it really underlines just how low-budget that Potomac trip was. Do you think you would ever catch Marysol on a public beach? The Savoy at that???

• Gizelle throws a really cute sweet 16 for her stunning twins, and I thought the separate dinner right next door for the adults was really smart and let the girls have the elegant tea party affair that they wanted. Jamal’s speech, on the other hand – for a man on the pulpit, he sure does have a problem finding words to string together to show pride in his daughters outside of “they kept out of jail.”

• When did Charisse and Candiace get close enough that Mrs. Bassett would be gossiping about Ashley’s divorce with her? Am I missing something?

• I would watch an entire YouTube series of Karen and Wendy Williams (who seems to be in a much healthier place now) chopping it up. Make her a special recurring guest on the future Wendy Williams Experience podcast!

• I have largely avoided this topic, because I know everyone has their own experiences with alternative health options, but I don’t care for Mia claiming that her expansion is about bringing affordable healthcare to DC when 1) chiropractic care isn’t even a consistently recommended service to address joint/nerve/muscular pain 2) it is in Cathedral Heights, which is a high-income neighborhood in NW DC. Don’t pretend to be servicing the area you came up in, no one from Southeast is taking that hike up the red line to get their back cracked. (I also noticed that she presents herself as the Regional Developer and not a CEO, which is just an observation.)

• Fun Fact: that event that Dr. Wendy was speaking at UChicago was co-hosted by none other than my dear friend, English professor and New Yorker contributor Lauren Michele Jackson, who you see for a brief blip next to her, and who is so going to hate me for shouting her out here.

The Real Housewives of Potomac Recap