Men and women usually go to the club for vastly different reasons. Men go to the club to find women, find women, and to find women. Women go to the club to sometimes find a man, but also to enjoy themselves by dancing and drinking the night away with friends.

Men are reactionary creatures. If you want to know what we think about you at the club, all you need to do is evaluate one thing: Your activity at the club. Men read what women give us to read. It’s as simple as that. Let us break down a few scenarios for you so you can have a deeper understanding of just how men think. Although we really don’t think all that deeply about much when we’re at the club.

What She’s Wearing

This tells us a lot, and regardless of what you may think or say, dressing provocatively is a choice; a choice thought about and realized by you. If the way you dress is too over the top, quality men will be concerned and will wonder if you are at the club for business rather than leisure. If what you are wearing is causing as many concerns as looks, the man of your dreams is going to look elsewhere. Dressing sexy and dressing trashy are two separate things, and not knowing the difference or understanding the message you are sending could be deterring the amount of quality men that ask you out. Men will consider sleeping with the trashy looking girl, but will never bring her home to mama. 

How She Dances

Everyone has their own inner freak, and sometimes that inner freak reveals itself on the dance floor, especially after a few drinks. However, if your dance moves are extremely risqué, you are not only going to attract the type of guy who has no plans for the future, but will only attract guys interested in hooking up after the club. This will also tell any man of your dreams that you could become an embarrassing liability at a family wedding or work function if you have a couple drinks and music starts playing. Remember, there is always a time and place for your inner freak to come out. It’s usually in private rooms with your partner, not out in the middle of the dance floor while wearing a micro-skirt. Tease & Please: 7 Lessons You Can Learn From Strippers

Who She Talks To

The men you flirt and converse with while at the club will also give a clear message to potential suitors as to what type of person you may be. If we see you flirting with numerous men to use them for a night of free drinks and endless attention, that tells us you are immature, manipulative and probably too consumed with yourself to build a long-term relationship with us. If you are actively seeking the man of your dreams, don’t let your standards fall on club night. It is possible to find the man of your dreams in a club, but not if you’re paying attention to the wrong guys.   Get our e-book "The 14 Step Program to Finding and Keeping the Man of Your Dreams"

Behavior Inside and Outside the Club

Are you totally wasted, stumbling around drunk inside the club and hugging or kissing anything walking? If that sounds like you, you can bet you’ll just end up being used by men who see an opportunity for their own gratification. Being in control while having fun is sexy and shows quality men that you enjoy the moment and don’t have to rely on overloading on alcohol to have fun. Make sure you are not out in the parking lot engaging in crude sexual acts or compromising situations - you may not be with the man of your dreams, but if he walks by and notices you in a less than flattering scenario, he will be sure to stay far away from you in the future.

What you need to understand about men at a club is that there are two types. There’s the guy who’s just out hanging with his buddies. He’s not there to really meet anyone. He’s just having a good time. If he meets someone, then great. If not, then no big deal. The second guy is there for one thing and one thing only. Think National Geographic. It’s mating season. Now, these two types of men will react in very different ways to the women in the club. It takes a keen eye to spot these differences, but after reading this, you’ll catch on. 

The girl who shows up to the club begging for attention by wearing extremely revealing clothing and acting extremely flirtatious will get looks from all the guys. Many of them will approach her. She’s given off a signal that MOST men will read as “easy”. They’ll look at her as the one to go after and try to bed that night. Or, they’ll exchange numbers with this woman and their ultimate goal will be to try to get her in the bedroom as soon as possible. The One Problem With Being His F%@K Buddy

Now, you know and we know that flirtatious behavior and revealing clothing do not mean a woman is easy, but men WILL read you that way based on your presentation and actions. It’s pretty safe to say that the second type of guy will approach her in the club. The first type of guy will look, but will probably have her figured out. If he does approach her, it will be with the same attitude of “if it happens, great, if not, then no big deal”. The universal way of thinking, though, will be as stated earlier. We’ll look at her like she’s the one to try to bed the same night…or soon after. She’s not the one, for the most part, that any man will be thinking of forming a lasting relationship with.

The woman who shows up to the club, looking good (sexy without all of her assets hanging out), smelling good, and carrying herself with respect gives off a different presence all together. She will stand out no matter where she is. And men, even in the midst of a club, will take notice.

She’s the one who doesn’t have to be the center of attention. She’s the one who doesn’t have to be three sips from drunk to have a good time. She’s the one who doesn’t need twenty guys drooling over her to know she looks good. Ah yes, this woman will definitely get attention. And she’ll get it from both types of guys. But here’s the difference.

A woman who carries herself in this fashion is a powerful lady. She not only understands how important it is to display self-respect, but she also demands others to respect her as well. Yes, she’ll be approached by just as many men as her clueless counterpart, but she’ll be mentally more prepared to handle them. She’ll be able to separate the idiots from the man or men that she MAY give a chance to get to know her. (Need tips on identifying these men? Talk to our Relationship Coaches for guidance.) Like we said, men are reactionary. If you carry yourself with class, the good guys will treat you as such, no matter where they meet you. It’s all dependent on what type of attention YOU’RE trying to get.

Remember, class and self-respect can work anywhere, be it the library, the grocery store, online, or even in the club. You make a man respect you, and he has no choice but to. And those idiots who still come at you sideways won’t stand a chance anyway.

- Relationship Coach Paul V. and Jason B.  

The 14 Step Program to Finding and Keeping the Man of Your Dreams - eBook