Having someone you really like choose someone else over you is a really sucky feeling, I think we can all agree on that. What's even worse is when you don't even see it coming.

One day, the two of you are in the middle of a really deep conversation, laughing, and having fun, and the next day, he's making it official on social media with some other girl. And all you can say is WTF?! Where in the world did that come from?

What's worst of all is no matter what you do, you can really only leave it up to chance. He either stays with her forever and they have a beautiful life together or he realizes his mistake and snatches you up before you decide to never forgive him again... ugh.

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Okay, it's not only those two choices, but it definitely feels that way. My point is, having the guy you're into choose her (probably a super boring person) over you (a total goddess who is never boring) is a travesty.

I'm only joking... kind of. I've heard a lot of advice about love and men over the years, but the basic message bears repeating: chasing after someone who is doing everything to prove he isn't interested isn't going to make you happy in the end.

There's a big difference between playing coy to get someone's attention (and knowing that in the end, your coyness is just for fun) and pretending like someone who is clearly into you barely exists because you know that they'll do everything they possibly can to keep trying to win your attention.

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Trust me when I say that you are a goddess and you absolutely deserve to be chased; not do the chasing. But even when you're letting him do all the work, it can still really hurt when he chooses someone else over you.

No one likes having their emotions played with, but we can't control what people do, can we? While it's probably not a good idea to try to change yourself to be the kind of girl you think he wants, you can look for answers in other ways, like astrology. It might be intriguing to you to know exactly why he chose her instead of you.

I know I'd be curious if I were in that position. What is it that she has that you don't? Did he choose her for a shallow reason or was there more to it than you think?

I mean, you can always stalk her on social media, but that will probably only make you want to cry in a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream even more, so... don't do that. Instead, look to your horoscope sign for some answers.

It might not always be something you can fix in a day, but being your best self-means constantly working on yourself. If anything, at the end of your journey of self-discovery, you'll show him exactly what he's been missing this whole time he hasn't been with you.

How's THAT for some revenge for picking the wrong girl? Before you can do that, though, here's exactly why he chose her over you, according to your zodiac sign.

ARIES (March 21 - April 19)

When Aries dates someone, he goes all in. He might come off as a little too intense at first, but that's only because he knows what he wants and he's not afraid to go after it. If he's interested in you, it means he sees that you're into him, too. That said, if he thinks you're acting disinterested or unattached, he's not going to waste his time on you – even if you're only pretending to be coy.

But just because he's into you doesn't mean he's not into others, too. Aries likes to keep his options open until he finds the right person. If he's choosing her over you, it could be because she's not pulling any punches. She may be a lot more vocal about her interest and just as intense about the relationship, which is much more appealing to him than trying to guess what you want.

TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)

Taurus is most attracted to the person who is involved in the relationship. I get it, sometimes it’s easier to just say you don’t care when he asks you what you want to do on Friday night, but look at it from his perspective. If your partner was constantly saying they didn’t really care what you did together, it almost feels like they’re saying they don’t care about you. If you can’t muster up as much enthusiasm as him for the relationship, he’ll find someone who can.

Taurus most definitely likes to be in control, but not if you’re going to make it extra work for him. If he chooses her over you, it’s because she’s ready to move on to the next step of the relationship with him, while you’re still deciding what you want to do on Friday night. Taurus is patient, but not THAT patient.

GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)

Gemini’s interests change very quickly when it comes to dating. One day, he’ll be all over you. The next day, he’ll be all over someone else. And unfortunately, it’s almost impossible to tell how he really feels about you or her because he doesn’t want to commit to one of you and regret it later... Ouch, I know. But just because he’s tentative at first doesn’t mean he isn’t a really good partner, too.

The one thing that will almost always get him to choose her over you (if not every single time), is giving him an ultimatum. He’s a very “when you know, you know” kind of guy, which means he doesn’t need anyone breathing down his neck about committing to someone. If he chose her over you, it’s because she makes things simple for him. She’s just happy she gets to spend time with him and he’s just happy she isn’t trying to define the relationship before he’s ready.

CANCER (June 21 - July 22)

Cancer is the kind of guy who can throw on some sweatpants, browse Netflix for a good movie, and eat pizza, and be able to call it a successful night. If you want to date him, you gotta be comfortable spending your weekend nights in more than going out. Sure, Cancer likes a night out on the town just as much as anyone, but he’s much more himself when he doesn’t have to dress up or do something that’s not as fun for him as it is for you.

If Cancer chooses her over you, it could be because he always feels uncomfortable around you. It’s not so much that you ask him questions that are TMI or that you force him to do things he doesn’t want to do. It’s more than you like getting out of your comfort zone and he likes staying in it. He’d much rather be with someone who is safe and comfortable where he can build a relationship that feels like home.

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LEO (July 23 - August 22)

Leo isn’t the lion of the zodiac for nothing. He is all about showing off his shiny mane and proving that he really is the king of the jungle. If you’re dating him, he’s gonna want to show you off, too - that’s just the kind of person he is. He wants people to know just how beautiful you are and just how lucky he is to be with you - oh, and that everyone else should be crazy jealous of him. 

But not everyone is down with the celebrity lower couple lifestyle, and it’s hard for Leo to change himself to make you feel better about it. If he isn’t able to show you two off, he feels lost! This is his element, after all. So, if it looks like he’s chosen her over you, it could be because she’s much more comfortable giving people something to talk about instead of trying to blend in with the wallpaper. There’s nothing wrong with being shy, but Leo just isn’t equipped to deal with someone who doesn’t have the courage to be themselves.

VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)

Virgo has a pretty good idea of the kind of person he wants to date even before he meets you. So, when he first starts to show interest in you, it’s because he sees potential in you and is considering making the relationship official. It might be hard to crack that Virgo shell at first - since he is very good at keeping his personal life to himself - but that’s only because he wants to make sure you’re not going to play with his heart.

If he chooses her over you, it’s probably because he isn’t comfortable letting his guard down around you just yet. He wants to be with someone who will open up to him and show him that being vulnerable isn’t a bad thing. If you’re more interested in keeping things casual between you two, or you just have a terrible time letting your own guard down, Virgo is going to find someone who respects his need to take things slow and work up to a deep, long-lasting relationship to date instead.

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LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)

Libra is pretty discerning when it comes to finding a partner that’s right for him. He can tell almost right away which partners are going to be nothing more than a fling and which ones are going to be around for a long time. When you first meet Libra? you can definitely tell that he’s sizing you up for the future. Are you right for him? Will you make him feel like he’s making the right choice or will you be wasting his time?

It will be pretty easy to tell if you’re making the right impression on him or if he’s looking for something else early into the relationship. Libra might not know exactly what he wants in a relationship yet, but he definitely knows that he wants someone he can build a future with. Libra is ALL about the lovey-dovey, but if he’s choosing her over you, it’s because she’s more interested in meeting his family and friends, making him a priority in her life, and talking openly about the future.

SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)

Scorpio is a hard one to read when it comes to dating, but that’s only because he’s so used to keeping his heart under lock and key. As he would put it, why let someone see the most vulnerable part of you when they might end up leaving you? Even when the relationship is strong, there’s always a tiny part of Scorpio that believes it might not last. To make sure that he’s not wasting his time on someone who may or may not be interested, Scorpio will always be secretly testing you to ensure that you’re right for him.

His tests aren’t like actual tests, but they definitely are a test of your character and how you act in situations that could make or break the relationship. If he ends up choosing her over you, it could be because she was a lot more honest about how she sees this relationship progressing and what she needs his help with. No one is perfect, so if you think that you’ll be able to handle every difficult situation with grace, you’re probably wrong. Learning how to admit when you need help is how Scorpio knows someone is right for him.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)

Sagittarius is one of those guys that automatically puts all potential partners into a “casual acquaintances” category. He might be into you, but he’s also probably into a few other people too, so until he knows for sure who he wants to be with, he’s going to keep everyone at arm’s length. It’s not so much that he’s hoping there will be someone better waiting for him, but rather that Sagittarius has never been a fan of commitment. He might change his tune if there’s someone he really likes, but for the most part, he prefers to be on his own.

Because he often chooses to be single, it’s not often that he really falls for someone. When he does, it’s almost impossible to tell because his attitude never changes. But there’s a good chance that just because you don’t know what he’s thinking doesn’t mean he hasn’t already decided who’s right for him. If he chooses her over you, there’s a good possibility that she’s making more of an impression on him than you are. She is probably the one who spends more time with him and the one he thinks about more. It’s not exactly deep, but casual and spontaneous is just how Sagittarius operates.

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CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)

Capricorn has very high standards when it comes to dating because he holds himself to very high standards. Rather than turn into a big softie just because he’s in love, he’s an aggressive judge of character to his potentials partners. One of the main things Capricorn looks for in a perfect partner is how strong the bonds are between you and your family and friends. One thing that will definitely ensure he chooses her over you is if you keep to yourself; he wants someone who knows how to make and keep relationships.

Capricorn will also choose her over you if she has a richer life outside of the relationship. Nothing puts Capricorn off more than when his partner only ever does stuff when he asks or is content exactly where they are in life without ever wanting to do more to succeed. If he chooses her over you, this could be a good wake up call. Rather than getting upset or jealous, this is your time to work on what makes you happy. If you decide to give him another chance to see what a catch you are later, he’ll definitely like your growth.

AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)

Aquarius is very good on his own - and he knows it. So, when it comes to dating, it takes a very special person to be able to make him commit. If he doesn’t see something dazzling in you, he’s not going to give you another glance. It’s very possible that instead of choosing between you and her, he shrugs you both off and chooses himself.

That said, Aquarius will always choose her over you if he thinks that things are getting way too cozy for him. Because commitment isn’t his thing, he’s not exactly down with the constant touching, PDA, and sharing of feelings. If he chooses her over you, it’s because she knows how to give him enough space that he doesn’t feel suffocated, while still being able to show him that she still cares about the relationship. It’s a tricky middle that only a few people are good at.

PISCES (February 19 - March 20)

Pisces can be a very “hot and cold” partner who loves you one day and freaks out about the relationship the next. If you’re too committed or not committed enough, he’s going to find something wrong with the relationship and call it quits. Figuring out how to keep him from turning into a cold fish will save the relationship from tanking. Pisces can be very sensitive, so this can be hard to do, but hard work pays off with Pisces.

If he chooses her over you, it’s because he feels a deeper connection with her. Call him crazy, but Pisces is very driven by intuition. If it feels right to him, he’s going to go with his gut every time. She is more expressive about her emotions with him and makes him feel safe enough to be vulnerable around her, no matter what the situation is.

Emily Ratay is a full-time writer living in Pittsburgh. She's passionate about the environment and feminism, and knows that anything is possible in the right pair of shoes. She plans on writing a non-fiction book in the future.